Merry Christmas!

Hang up the stockings, light up the tree

thousands of gifts, millions of dreams

May the sleigh arrive on your rooftop

May from the chimney, the fat man drop

May he fill all the stockings with joy,

and beneath the tree lay all the toys

I prayed for my millions to come true

The thousands you can keep with you

"The power for the million's within", he said

"Believe in yourself, than me instead"

Santa I'm afraid they might break,

the more I wish the higher the stake

"Why do you fear, my child" He said

"My love will guide, let yourself be led"

I wink at Santa and ask where's my gift?

He says close your eyes and make a wish.

Merry Christmas!

Pointing fingers seldom show the way!

All the fingers at me point
Clueless, ignorance bliss divine
Tears of blood, the pain in vain
Just another normal day

Trying hard, failing bad
Earnest efforts we don't care
I am wrong and always will
Cos I'm not you, this road downhill

The tired apprehensions misconstrued
The dialogues twisted as suited to you
Hopelessly messed to think it through
Obviously more than misunderstood

Here i fall, one more night
Of hopeless vain paradise
Awake I will to the nightmare
Passion filled with despair

Alone I stand, alone I fall
Alone me climbing up the walls
Alone I'll soar, alone I dream
The fingers will still point at me!

Good ol' story

This is the story of an old couple still hopelessly in love. This is a story of the successful marriage. This is the story that everybody dreams of. This is the poem you would want to write 50 years from now.


Not limited by insecurity
Not limited by calculations
It's just that someone close to me
It's normalcy not an aberration

There's no count of give and take
There's only give, let em fly than stay
There need be not an exact reply
But when with her i touch the sky

I stand on cloud, I'm over the moon
I do not fear if it'll end too soon
For its the present we cherish and live
For its the present, that we believe

And after all is said and done,
It was the present that I remember
The present then, when we were one
A present still now, we have just begun

We are now old, still my hand in yours
Yours in mine, more strength it draws
You are to me still my beloved dearest
The lines on our faces drawn when clearest,

I'm still that guy who falls for you,
Each day in the morn when the sun comes through
You are still the beauty, I fell for then,
To love you more, me God has sent

I still look at you, starry-eyed
Still admire the way I'm tongue tied
You melt my heart, with that warm smile
With you, it's small a thousand miles

The love for you is self proclaimed
And with pride I say it's truly divine
But what is far greater, greater still,
Is what she feels for me, the love so fine

Knowing her unwavering love with me,
It gives me strength and helps me breathe,
In these old fragile hands I still see
The power to hold her hands to safety

We still laugh at the jokes I crack,
To see you laugh, i do this tack
We still walk albeit so slow
When with you time loses track

We grew so much
We have come through
After the upward struggle
Happiness plateau
Our beautiful children's beautiful children
The beauty has surely come from you

Young and wild, were we once
For love was upon us bestowed
My love still growing for you even
We're parents and grandparents now.

Together we've lived our entire lives,
We would choose the same but then we're destined
Together we'll be, death won't do us part
A special place in God's heart.


I'll go first and make some room
You join me then but please come soon
I can't say i'll die again, but
I'd rather in death be with you

Incessant Rambling

Shut up brain, shut up heart,
This is not the place to start
Relax and stop thinking now
Let numbness smother things that are

Perhaps tomorrow be the day,
Perhaps never as they say
Why bother what happens, it's my pride
And numbness I have by my side.

Losing sleep doesn't count, wakin up is what matters now
Endless wasted moments before I bow
What resulted in a shattered crown

Building bridges just to burn,
Withheld inhibitions in to swirl
Fuming, consuming thoughts arrive
Taking my sleep in its stride

I hate to have them back today,
On my way to sleep heaven
Why do you raise your wicked head
Stir up confusion instead

Let me sleep go back you thoughts
My heart ain't ideal landing spot
I'll brush them away instantly
Time to take one more morphine

Then I fall unconscious me
Fists clenched constantly
Waking up, I feel alive
Fists unclenched but not relieved

Shut up brain, shut up heart
What you say is miles apart
One too sorrow in recluse
Other too cheerful, to be true

Fairly level headed not me
Afraid to tread now in between
Too forward or conservative
I'll find the middle ground superlative

There's no reason for dichotomy
Both have best interests for me,
When they're one, the heart and brain
There's nothing which I can't obtain

The possibility of such a thing,
Is what makes us wish, makes me dream
Defy them all, on a wing,
Unachievable, no such thing.

There we go, the train of thoughts,
The pouring of the mind distraught,
The fire's ignited, 't has to last,
Finally ready to have a blast.

Who's to say?

What's to say, what's to come
Who's to say, who I become
The rhyming rhymes
Tired lines
Toiled blood,
under rated son.

No two paths to choose from,
No few things to do now
Amazing number of alternatives
No real choice, blinded, stowed

Multiple facade, multiple games
More than one, multiple blames
Duplicating worth, suffocating pain,
Implicating chip on my shoulder's fame

Monotonous

How many times do i get over
How many times do I begin,
It's  crazy test this life,
How many times do I dream?

They say don't be afraid to dream
when the dream's 'round the corner
But I'm flying the opposite direction
Have crossed all the borders

The borders of certainty,
the one that was secure
That one that lead to nothing,
But where I knew where I was

What strange journey is this?
This one I can't comprehend.
The one where I am to work,
The one where I am to pretend

Maybe I should have stuck to the road
The one at corners which bends
There's anticipation of happiness
Opportunities to swoop it tends

But here I am, Crumbling
dying under the weight on my shoulder
But still I stand, for the Atlas must
Bear with the burden and moulder

I breathe, stay low, to the stomach I'm sick
How much longer before I can sit
tick tock tick tock tick tock tick
about time I'll exit!!

Silly me

From the dark recesses of my mind,
Crept a flicker of light,
How could I be so naive to think this would end the blight
Perhaps it's a lighted match,
That'll be blown off soon
Perhaps it's just a spark
Ray of hope? A boon?

Silly me, I thought these were changing times
Silly me, I thought the fallen me would rise,
Silly me, I let myself think beyond hope
Silly me, I almost smiled, too much here to cope.

Things going wrong, doesn't let me catch my breath
On a song, the beat's on filled with regret
I've been through the wringer,
Matters little, the pain's the same
The grind excruciating, the efforts, vain.

Silly me, I thought this was to end
Silly me, too many broken pieces to mend
Silly me, claustrophobic once, dreams of coffin
Silly me, Every couple of breath needs morphine

Blood sweat tears, time, health, not enough
There's probably more need, this road too rough
Through the tourniquet I bleed,
Threatening to bite the dust,
But on I go, 'cause for more I lust

Silly me, this road seemed glistening
Of gold, silly me, I wasn't listening, back then when I was told,
Silly me, the blood drained, tears dried up now what
They still seem to think more to offer I've got

Pointless, no direction, waiting for a cue,
The silly me, wants out, silliness posing the truth,
The blame's gone, no pointing fingers alone,
Silly me wants this king dethroned,

It doesn't matter What I say, really, do you believe me?
Or will you wave me off
Cos it's just me, the silly me?

Lost...

Lost in never ending abyss
Leaves me groping for hope
Cost of wishing the end,
May leave me battling more.

Being able to want and wanting to be able,
The things never heard of, but lost in the label,
Misreadings and vagueness pave way for more disguise,
Unfathomable clues, arduous fake paradise.

Better off on earth, than the strenuous path to pointlessness,
Questioning the worth, to leave the dreams I once had, but then
Lost is the time and the spirit divine,
Fading away to black, who knows what's destined

But toil we must, bear the mild yoke they say,
The atlas can't lend the earth to anyone any day,
But what if the blood spilt is gone to waste,
What if the pain doesn't subside when they take,

My life, now that's all I have to do,
and undo to make it in time left for doom

Wading through the muck, grinding in the grief,
The day itself so long
But the years they call it brief

The fog covers my path,
My eyes blinded by fear
The numbness a quiet relief
Left are no more tears

So where do we go from here?
Is the fog even meant to clear?
What was it that was supposed to be, and the things that were dear?

Questions unanswered hope nowhere near,
Somehow there's still courage left to tread deeper from here

This too shall pass they always say,
Pass when I ask, arise.
Perhaps, burning is the only way out, I surmise.

Inspiration

Maybe there's something you understand that I don't,
Maybe you'll get what I shouldn't and I won't,
But I look up to you, Inspired, I dream,
Someday I'll try to reach the heights extreme,

I will not rest for the journey's too long,
So many curves along the way to make me strong,
The fire within refuses to cease,
Burnt up lungs refuses to breathe,

I know the risks for I run them well,
The terror unsaid, the pain unfelt,
The todays lost to the beads of sweat,
This ain't nearly enough, to learn so much left,

The subtle grace and speed I desire,
With blood I hope one day I'll acquire
The unquenched thirst parched throat even drier
Just one look at you again I'm inspired,


I'll start over if you think I'm wrong,
Willing to do tear the heart that's torn,
People misinterpret but then they always do,
My inspiration pure, I look up to you,

One day I'll fight by your side
One day with you I'll stand with pride,
One day I'll learn, how much more that's left
But happy even so, having my place being left.

The underachievers' club

Hardwork we fear not, for we toil night and day,
Subordination of interests, forgoing all the play,
None for breakfast, for dinners sometimes a Sub,
Little do we achieve, we're The Underachiever's club

Sometimes we miss a point, perhaps a whole page,
Sitting in the dark work fuming with rage,
Perhaps what we do is not how it's done,
Hours put in relentlessly churning the sun.

Peace of mind, we say, is what we live for,
Exhaustion sinks in, on the psyche takes a toll,
The work still remains let alone appreciation,
The world shrinks in, remains only villainous trepidation.

We lose sleep over things left undone,
Dissatisfied, incompetent, eyes better unopened,
But the dawn must break, so must we,
Brave that we are, we start, resilience the key.

And then there's a tomorrow

The eyes have grown tired
Though the fire's still awake
Inquisitive I aspire
Today may not be the day

The todays are busy
Living in the moment we say
The exercises far too many
For bread we must pay

The muscles are flexed and raw
They ache a little too
Where's the fun without a challenge
Say bring it on, will do

We'll struggle again today
For battles we must fight
The trials and tribulations
Will throw the right light

The mistakes must be made
The lessons to be learnt
The fire must be played with
And fingers must be burnt

Experience we must all
The present day's fruits
The deep hidden disappointments
What's false and what's the truth?

And then there's a tomorrow
This was just today
The things I thought were done for good, will be done again

Tomorrow a new day
A day none have seen
a day I would never miss
Ain't a night I wouldn't dream.

Don’t LABEL me, for it might be true!

What is a label? So common, it seems pointless to ponder over a small and seemingly insignificant word. It is how you identify. It is the way you organize the huge stock of files in your brain. The brain automatically labels something as good, bad, healthy, ugly, satisfying, repelling or as a must to have. It almost comes naturally to us. Without labels we can’t really work the way we work today. It helps us not get into the frenzy of analyzing each and every minute detail and underwrite the basis of classification. So why the big fuss about labels? Let’s just ponder for a minute. Is the means with which you label, accurate? Is it really how you have to organize? Are you sure of the category that you put “A” in?

Labeling creates a rule in our mind. A thumb rule, if you will. A rule that says John cannot draw. So what do you think John feels when he gets to know of this label? It steals from him the idea of even considering that he can ever draw. It is imposed as a rule on him. Now if John is a 25-ish who is a well read, mature person he’d know better than to believe the label he’s been stamped upon. If John is an 8 year old kid who just likes to go nuts with his crayons he might not care and go on scribbling like there’s no tomorrow. But what if the only way John can understand of his capabilities or potential capabilities is by the way people close to him respond? It brings a tremendous block in his brain that says “Road blocked in case you are thinking of drawing, and PS: you are terrible at it” Now here’s a problem. Also, isn’t other people’s feedback a very essential form of recognition and evaluation for us. John may have the potential but the people judging him may lack the skill to understand John’s abilities. John may be not great at drawing but it might give him the freedom of expression, the breathing space that he needs. The solitary time where he needs to think, needs to get his creative side juiced up.

So, it’s easy for Mrs. Thomson to say “oh, well, John is no good in drawing, he just keeps scribbling his crayons, let’s try to get him to dance, maybe he’ll get that”. So what do you think Mrs. Thomson’s words mean? It’s probably true for all adults who have to either raise or manage or work with kids. They might not say it out loud but these thoughts do at some level affect the decision making process. And this is true not only for kids. Any organization you go and ask any employee to give an informal intro about another, you’ll get a different story from everybody. In the end it’ll be like nobody knows anybody here and that just might be true. We tend to be more discerning, less caring and on our guards, when it comes to work place. Our opinion about somebody is more often than not based upon situations where the other person might have either kept his cool (due to altogether different reason) or lost his temper (due to reason not at all relevant in the context) and based on that you judge him/her.

It’s hard but not impossible really, to think about all the things that the other person might have done in the past and then judge him. He might have helped you out numerous times, at times, without even letting you know but you might still be basing your judgment on the argument you had last night about a particular plan or presentation that you failed to execute. So what happens next? This person once so helpful & co-operative suddenly gives you the cold shoulder.

If John is labeled as bad at, say, Math, whether it may or may not be the truth, it might become the truth. John, labeled bad at Math will start believing in it and he might end up doing worse than what he could have possibly done. So isn’t label a form of appreciation or the other way round, really?

That means just by appreciating someone you have the power to help him perform better. Isn’t it probably the simplest way to enhance performance? Just imagine what great power each of us has. Great leaders possibly understand this. The same is true for criticism and complain t too. To quote the secret “Thos who speak of abundance -  have it. Those who complain a lot about the bad things in their lives – have it.”

                With such great power in such a simple thing as appreciation, I really wonder what else is in store. Inquisitiveness is the key.

You're not the one

I thought I had made it

I thought we had that spark

I thought I knew what I felt & need

Thought it would be you

But you turned out so different

Different than I had imagined

The  accommodating me it was

up the walls you have me drivin

I thought there was just a difference

A simple matter of point of view

It might still be true but now

I can't see the choice that's you

I take a step forward, a step away from you

Choosing a different path is the same as wanting a different you

But the you in you I respect

I can't let down either

The me in me I can't avoid

The me's freedom I desire

It never really took off

I saw it coming the morrow's mire

The whispering little voice in me

Set my goals a little higher

Ahead we move now

Towards more exciting times

The one is waiting somewhere

But mistakes dozen a dime.

One thousand Dreams

In this world of sensible people,
I'm just a fool for my dreams,
But little did you then understand,
The dream was you and me.

one of 1000 got shot down
That can't make me back down
It just singed my feathers a bit
Unbeknownst to me, I move on.

Ahead for greater experiences,
The one that will sway my way
The degrees with subtle nuances
And the knowledge that's here to stay

I run and I fly, in greater skies
I achieve; great things understood
Then why does the memory of dream number 1
Haunt me under the hood?

I ignore it and live happily after,
The forever lost somewhere
There feels a void that I can't avoid
In the lower quarters of my chest

How can my first dream of dreams
Of one thousand surpass the rest?
When the burden of one falls so heavily
The onus falls on the rest.

I ignore it once again, I tell myself,
All dreams are not meant to be
Be happy in what most would never dream
Make peace with destiny

Forward I move, clueless, astray
Hoping someday I’ll find my sun
That someday I might see the light
To the dream, my dream number one.

At war with me

The good luck is not good enough;
The bad luck can’t get worse,
The me’s what I’m beginning to hate,
This me’s quite absurd

The world’s strangely united when;
The whole world thinks I’m wrong
It curbs the rising fire within,
At me when it storms

I take it head on;
No doubt I’ll stand my ground,
But the ground shakes and breaks,
I’m not so strong after all.

The depths I begin to explore, an endless search in abyss,
The clouds of doubt and guilt make me feel amiss

Nobody understands,
is what I told myself
The one that broke all threads of trust,
Is the one I don’t deserve.

The one I’m talking about,
Is the one I know best
Or rather thought I did,
This one’s myself.

How can I plan or trust,
Or work or understand,
Which words can I use,
When I don’t know what I can

Steady this won’t be easy, this will take a while
With a little practice at the game, taking out more time
My brain will be trained; I can then spit my flow,
This hand will obey the master, excellence it will show

Then he rose, the poor boy, who got told off by the world,
He found his swagger, flamboyance, by all he’s adored

I'm Just Me

We started out young, we rowed alongside
we bowed to the greats, with hope they guide,
the practice done, the shackles they breakfree
transformed they appear, but I'm still me

The doubt apparent, my silence betrays
when I'm done mulling they look away
they're hailed and commended, a job i can see
I can't put my finger on it, I'm just me

found safety in the crowd, tension at bay
the doubt of direction I fail to convey
the seeds i failed to see, arriere pensee
Can't blame anybody, 'cause I'm just me

I seem to understand them and their disdain
They are what I thought, with them I acquaint
They're not wrong for that's the way to be
But I'm still different, but then I'm just me

They're just them, cold and prejudiced
Respected they're biased enough to do this
Refuse to see the tail below head, underneath
They try to prove they're right, but I'm still me

I almost believe the face I see,
But I can see the wheels turning
Inside they're heads they're cunning
I can see through but smile, as I'm just me

Now they're great, glory to thee
They are content, in the place to be
I'm still looking, for answers I seek
discontent, lost, unbiased i sink deep
But I don't lose hope, sense prevails idiocy
I tread pondering, for I'm only me.

End of the day

Tired of apprehension, this stress I don’t enjoy
Killjoy is work, no fun to be employed
The spirit is chained and restrained every move,
What do you really want? That point is moot

Smiles unseen, beyond miles they wait, the sky darkens
With every passing day, hell’s gates seem to never close,
We’re the angel’s baits; it’s me they chose,
It seems so close, just beyond my grasp; they close them doors, on me every time a darker path unfolds,
Untold realities, horrors lark,
On my path on which I walk, with disheartened heart,
As there’s nothing else I can think of to do
Nothing that can help me to see this through