A sigh of recovery.

The day ends, but sadness doesn't end;
the bruise's better, the pain doesn't end
I smile and laugh, the ache I can't ignore,
There must be a better way I can mend

The stars so far, what use are they,
The moon gives false hopes everyday
The fire within has burnt me through,
The ashes that's left, the wind blew

The cuts and slashes on me,
wets through the tourniquet
It bleeds but never heals,
Only time, will not tell!

to the heavens I pray, Solidarity won't suffice
Those who help themselves, cry
and pray for help and mercy and hope
The will inside seems to subside

But yet again, resilient I
blast through the darkening sky
I'll be strong and unwavering
I'll live; yes I'll survive
and I shall rise again and again
You'll see when I arrive!

The last part of Darkness

They told me to take the leap,
They drove me off the cliff
Blindfolded and bound, terror within
All I had was zilch

No sight or leverage I have,
It’s just a clue I seek,
They mistook my swollen and bleeding back,
For their sword’s sheath

Wavering and losing balance,
I feel the narrow ledge,
I remember the times of my life,
Moments filled with regrets,

Uneventful though it was,
I’m glad that part’s done,
The one that could not be,
And the ones you wanted none


The nights when I used to sleep,
And ones that were blurred,
Between them and the day ahead,
Was the nightmare I preferred

I guess the fear’s dead,
Soon with it I’ll meet, Couldn’t live
Without when I was awake,
Can’t abandon when I’m asleep

Here I am waiting,
it’ll be my turn soon
Apathy’s what I’m feeling,
It came when I needed it to.

All Work

The tension is palpable, charged is atmosphere,
A joke's 'round the corner and then there's lurking fear,
Help's always at hand, but time always evades,
The forehead is always creased, and work dissuades

Eyes on the screen, hands on the board,
Knees shaking weak and scraps on the floor,
I know a little bit, left is so much more,
The warmth is cooling off, turning stone cold

Rising complexities, situation's a facade
No idea 'bout the processes, it seems like a mirage
Eyes and ear wide open and there's open mind
Need to laugh it all away, but for now, I'll whine

Need a lotta salt, to take what comes to you
Should know diplomacy and how to shrug, too
I cannot fake this stuff, I don't think you need luck,
I am what I am; face it, it's not tough.

Two months on, I'm still the new guy,
Pushed from behind, front and the other sides,
The hands that push, are the ones that guide me well,
Without them I'd fall right down on my head!

Still I tread on, shaking off expectations,
Monday blues yet to face; my voice's my suasion
Blending is not a biggie, the grinding's that I'm worried
I gotta do it right when all the time you are scurried

Here's wishing me good luck, let's see where we go
Goodbye comfort zone, I got this line to toe
There's so much left to do and so much to grow
Got this spirit alive and with hope we must go.

NEWBORN

Newborn in the storm,
Newborn not so strong
These gales and lightening scare and scar
Here do I belong?

The ideas are shunned away
Taboo they are dubbed
Pushed out of the nest
Ask ‘em and they get snubbed

The fire in the eyes don't seem will last,
Nor will the trust or desire,
Sapped is energy, I'm still running
Goals are beyond apparent reach and I'm tired

Pushed from all the sides,
Includes my heart and mind
Half-heartednes, mediocrity
For this am I destined?

The second love of my life,
For this I struggle and strive
My first love, beginning to fade
Achieving it seems so naive

The spark it does exist
Can vouch for eternal glow
The life that flows inside me
Is powered by beat and hope

Destiny! Is it written already?
Or do I get to make?
Or what I do is meant to be
With choice rests my fate?

i tread on by

there's something that stirs inside,
when you come home from the ride
and listen to the music your friend suggests
and you are about to cry..

this longing never ends,
how long do i pretend
i'm not just stuck on the wrong road
I'm just on the other side of the globe

but one day, it will come
i'll fly away from home
the dreams i dreamed will be mine
one day my heart will smile

with the dreams in my eyes,
one more day goes and another night
but soon i'll find the courage and strength
with this hope i tread on by.

SUR

I’m Afraid You Won’t Understand

I don’t look at you, I stare
The tiny moment when you are there
Everything about you I want to capture
In my mind, without you, there’s despair.

I can feel the air around you
Feel the sunlight touch your lips
The hair that’s so beautifully untied
And your hand that’s on your hips.

The smile you smiled was precious,
I remember it even today
The millions of times you crossed my path
& the times I made you wait

I spoke to you on the phone,
When I dreamt and when I was awake,
All the things I felt for you
Is in the chest deep locked away

Thrown away at the horizon
Now I’ve got nothing to say

You didn’t want to hear a word,
I would have never again taken the chance
I killed this Romeo’s poem
‘cause I’m afraid you won’t understand.

Someday I'll fly

Unaware, I fly, the winds take me high
This horizon’s new, so is surreal sky
Transcend new boundaries, test new winds
Ignorance rests as I flutter my wings

Birds of a feather, lost in the weather
Not a clue about the rule or the sun
But the birds are tough and glad together
Can get the things they want, done.

My seeking is unique; distance, inevitable
I am what I need, taking chance is debatable
Gambled I have with caution and heart
Tangled in a mosaic of interests and scars

There’s no answer to the gaping questions
That havent been forgotten, but never been asked
I wonder about the petty confessions
And wander about abandoned paths

I’ll need some time to think this through
To swallow and stomach distasteful rue
These wings will get me strong again
I’ll master the pyrotechnics one day

‘cross the mountains, past the sky
I’ll fly right; zoom past over July
I’ll fly above the clouded gloom
Where the tears don’t fall; above the hues

My blood and tears will have earned the price
I’ll be at peace, when I close my eyes.

I’ve Learnt Not To Dream Again

Broken dreams hurt so much
I’ve learnt not to dream again

They say the path is untrodden
So hard your hopes will shatter
It’s too much pain, better look away
Even though the alternatives don’t matter

I’ve learnt not to dream again

They say better don’t hope, don’t train
Excel in things we want you to
Achievers have some advantage,
Plus they train harder than you can ever do
And when the pieces of my heart in blue
Yearns to keep the spirit alive
I’ve learnt to deal with expectations
And never to dream of the open skies

A contentious mind, a hardened heart
Won’t fail me this time, with my eyes on the path
It’ll be work and strive, all in the moment’s time
And when there occurs a small spark in the rain
I’ll blow it off and won’t ever dream again.

Not going the distance

It’s been so long I’ve given a damn
It’s hard to care anymore.
I stand so tall after all the clamber,
Can’t bend and reach out anymore.

I keep my differences aside
I can mingle and blend like wine
But I keep my distances marked
You can’t come further I’m locked
With me forgetting the combination,
I can’t be unlocked anymore.

With just passing time, people close in
Now I’ve got the favours and the burden roped in
Personally being professional, I follow
The codes with the procedure’s blueprint

This charade gets me, and the wall’s cracks appear
I can peep through the other side, but not get near
With barely visible parts of joys and sorrows
I don’t get the entire picture anymore

But I dream, one day, will bless me
& crush the bricks to pieces
I hope my archers and cavalry
Will be prepared for the people who seek us
Till that time, I’ll count my dimes
But I can’t wait for my life anymore.

I'm So Happy To Be Alone

I'm so happy to be left alone, in my own world I live
I'm so happy to be alone, the songs I want to, I sing
I take my own stride, I tread my own path
I'm so happy to be alone, I like my light and my dark

No illusions to fool, on the values I'm firm
I know I can't reap, if the seeds I haven't sown
Good head on my shoulder, higher mountains to reach
The thoughts that do smolder, almost surfeit

I'm so happy to be alone, on nobody I vent my fire
I'm so happy to be alone, I can express my own desire
I team up with solitude and my thoughts I do chase
My solitude abandons me in a state of malaise

The desire for somebody, almost doesn't exist
This idea of dependency seems defeatist
I yearn and I cringe, to this feeling, cold, unknown
I was happy and intend to be, I'm better off alone

Now I find myself, not the way I was before
Something changed unintentionally, I'm feeling little sore
The priorities changed, so did the things aspired
The bittersweet feeling has got my heart in a mire

I shrug it off with a laugh, now I'm back up on my feet
Wary of my learning and how things could change and be
Wiser and agile now I jump over quick sands
Careful in foreign lands, spare a thought on where I stand

I'm so happy to be alone, till I find no longer the need
Of a freewheeling life, the one without a key
I'm so happy to be alone, but I'll digress, this much, I owe me
I'm so happy to be alone, perfect solitude and not lonely.

Finding the resilience

Drowning in the pit of inaction's paralyze
Engulfing darkness exploding into thousands of vague mirage
Creeps in desperation, but I am the strength seeker
The pit is not deep enough, instead i now dig deeper

Alone i am and want to be, the sins are mine to bear
Not lonely and making solitary retreat, perpetual frown i wear
Invisible cross I carry, 'cross the life's street
Is it delirium I'm experiencing or with pain i do really meet

The moon sets as the night’s glory rests in peace
The rays penetrate the darkness; dispels everything weak
This satchel's my baggage, a constant that's with me
Weighing me down as i walk, a burden, a part of me.

The fury burns within, potency grows to speak
The reckless part I cut it off and throw across the sea
That part is what I hated, I will not reminisce
The peeled knees will get me through this abhorrent journey

This knot in my mind is untied to pave way for more to learn
These boundaries that are self proclaimed be felled with a loud thud
Now i spend my waking hours, trying to wake up
The flowers i crushed on my way, I'm trying to make it up

Now i find my darkness, in the shadow I see the light
I see the view in front of me, I found what was right
I thank my stars above; I've been saved from the blight
Prepare I will ahead, the resilience's back to fight

With might in my thoughts, my pride now sits upright
With armour in my hand, and vision in my sight
I'm out to seek my destiny, the one I'll write myself
Reason's the totem I've discovered, of the end no longer afraid!

Some truths we got to live through

Five of the toughest truths that we have to live through:

1. Our love not reciprocated
2. Letting down somebody
3. Being the reason for someone's tears
4. Being silent when a friend accuses you and you know he's right
5. Not reciprocating somebody's love as you can't lie to yourself

Am I Unforgiven too?

I wrote a small song inspired from Metallica's "Unforgiven ii"
Unforgiven ii talks about how a man bitter from the world's agonies dubs the world as unforgiven and when he finds out that the only person he trusted ultimately betrays him, he kills her. Here's my take on the other side of the story.


I Lay beside you
You don't see me in the eye
So much more i want to explain
But something else is on your mind

The hopes that I see, On them you shut your door
I hold the key and I know a way
but we are where we were before
Back then you heard me
But you won't listen anymore
Inebriety gleams in your eyes
You won't listen anymore,
won't listen anymore
you just won't listen!

What I've felt, what I've done
I did for you and now I'm home
My love will you, now open the doors to the truth
What I've felt, what I've done
Ain't one of them, with you I belong
You didn't hear me out, and you don't see the sun, do you?
Am I unforgiven too?

I lay beside you
It couldn't hurt me any more
You shut your door and I, my eyes
you free me from this world
I lay beside you
and now you'll never know
i held the key to all their lies
but i'll leave you in their world,
never dreamed I'd lose to drugs
I can't believe it!

What I've felt, what I've done
I did for you and now I'm home
My love will you, now open the doors to the truth
What I've felt, what I've done
Ain't one of them, with you I belong
You didn't hear me out, and you don't see the sun, do you?
Am I unforgiven too?

Always me, was always free
but I'm unforgiven too.



***



Lyrics of the real song by Metallica

Lay beside me, tell me what they've done
Speak the words I wanna hear, to make my demons run
The door is locked now, but it's opened if you're true
If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you

Lay beside me, under wicked sky
Black of day, dark of night, we share this pair of lives
The door cracks open, but there's no sun shining through
Black heart scarring darker still, but there's no sun
shining through
No, there's no sun shining through
No, there's no sun shining

[Chorus]
What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn to stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you?

Yeah
What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

Come lay beside me, this won't hurt I swear
She loves me not, she loves me still, but she'll never love
again
She lay beside me, but she'll be there when I'm gone
Black heart scarring darker still, yes she'll be there when
I'm gone
Yes she'll be there when I'm gone
Dead sure she'll be there

[Chorus]
What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn to stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you?

What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there, cause I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

[Solo]

Lay beside me, tell me what I've done
The door is closed, so are your eyes
But now I see the sun, now I see the sun
Yes, now I see it

[Chorus]
What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn to stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you

What I've felt, what I've known
So sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there, cause I'm the one who waits
The one who waits for you


Oh, what I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, just turn to stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you

(Background) So I dub thee Unforgiven.

Oh, what I've felt
Oh, what I've known

I take this key (never free)
And I bury it (never me) in you
Because you're unforgiven too!

Never free
Never me
Because you're unforgiven too..
Oo-Oh-Oo