You're not the one

I thought I had made it

I thought we had that spark

I thought I knew what I felt & need

Thought it would be you

But you turned out so different

Different than I had imagined

The  accommodating me it was

up the walls you have me drivin

I thought there was just a difference

A simple matter of point of view

It might still be true but now

I can't see the choice that's you

I take a step forward, a step away from you

Choosing a different path is the same as wanting a different you

But the you in you I respect

I can't let down either

The me in me I can't avoid

The me's freedom I desire

It never really took off

I saw it coming the morrow's mire

The whispering little voice in me

Set my goals a little higher

Ahead we move now

Towards more exciting times

The one is waiting somewhere

But mistakes dozen a dime.

One thousand Dreams

In this world of sensible people,
I'm just a fool for my dreams,
But little did you then understand,
The dream was you and me.

one of 1000 got shot down
That can't make me back down
It just singed my feathers a bit
Unbeknownst to me, I move on.

Ahead for greater experiences,
The one that will sway my way
The degrees with subtle nuances
And the knowledge that's here to stay

I run and I fly, in greater skies
I achieve; great things understood
Then why does the memory of dream number 1
Haunt me under the hood?

I ignore it and live happily after,
The forever lost somewhere
There feels a void that I can't avoid
In the lower quarters of my chest

How can my first dream of dreams
Of one thousand surpass the rest?
When the burden of one falls so heavily
The onus falls on the rest.

I ignore it once again, I tell myself,
All dreams are not meant to be
Be happy in what most would never dream
Make peace with destiny

Forward I move, clueless, astray
Hoping someday I’ll find my sun
That someday I might see the light
To the dream, my dream number one.

At war with me

The good luck is not good enough;
The bad luck can’t get worse,
The me’s what I’m beginning to hate,
This me’s quite absurd

The world’s strangely united when;
The whole world thinks I’m wrong
It curbs the rising fire within,
At me when it storms

I take it head on;
No doubt I’ll stand my ground,
But the ground shakes and breaks,
I’m not so strong after all.

The depths I begin to explore, an endless search in abyss,
The clouds of doubt and guilt make me feel amiss

Nobody understands,
is what I told myself
The one that broke all threads of trust,
Is the one I don’t deserve.

The one I’m talking about,
Is the one I know best
Or rather thought I did,
This one’s myself.

How can I plan or trust,
Or work or understand,
Which words can I use,
When I don’t know what I can

Steady this won’t be easy, this will take a while
With a little practice at the game, taking out more time
My brain will be trained; I can then spit my flow,
This hand will obey the master, excellence it will show

Then he rose, the poor boy, who got told off by the world,
He found his swagger, flamboyance, by all he’s adored

I'm Just Me

We started out young, we rowed alongside
we bowed to the greats, with hope they guide,
the practice done, the shackles they breakfree
transformed they appear, but I'm still me

The doubt apparent, my silence betrays
when I'm done mulling they look away
they're hailed and commended, a job i can see
I can't put my finger on it, I'm just me

found safety in the crowd, tension at bay
the doubt of direction I fail to convey
the seeds i failed to see, arriere pensee
Can't blame anybody, 'cause I'm just me

I seem to understand them and their disdain
They are what I thought, with them I acquaint
They're not wrong for that's the way to be
But I'm still different, but then I'm just me

They're just them, cold and prejudiced
Respected they're biased enough to do this
Refuse to see the tail below head, underneath
They try to prove they're right, but I'm still me

I almost believe the face I see,
But I can see the wheels turning
Inside they're heads they're cunning
I can see through but smile, as I'm just me

Now they're great, glory to thee
They are content, in the place to be
I'm still looking, for answers I seek
discontent, lost, unbiased i sink deep
But I don't lose hope, sense prevails idiocy
I tread pondering, for I'm only me.

End of the day

Tired of apprehension, this stress I don’t enjoy
Killjoy is work, no fun to be employed
The spirit is chained and restrained every move,
What do you really want? That point is moot

Smiles unseen, beyond miles they wait, the sky darkens
With every passing day, hell’s gates seem to never close,
We’re the angel’s baits; it’s me they chose,
It seems so close, just beyond my grasp; they close them doors, on me every time a darker path unfolds,
Untold realities, horrors lark,
On my path on which I walk, with disheartened heart,
As there’s nothing else I can think of to do
Nothing that can help me to see this through

A sigh of recovery.

The day ends, but sadness doesn't end;
the bruise's better, the pain doesn't end
I smile and laugh, the ache I can't ignore,
There must be a better way I can mend

The stars so far, what use are they,
The moon gives false hopes everyday
The fire within has burnt me through,
The ashes that's left, the wind blew

The cuts and slashes on me,
wets through the tourniquet
It bleeds but never heals,
Only time, will not tell!

to the heavens I pray, Solidarity won't suffice
Those who help themselves, cry
and pray for help and mercy and hope
The will inside seems to subside

But yet again, resilient I
blast through the darkening sky
I'll be strong and unwavering
I'll live; yes I'll survive
and I shall rise again and again
You'll see when I arrive!

The last part of Darkness

They told me to take the leap,
They drove me off the cliff
Blindfolded and bound, terror within
All I had was zilch

No sight or leverage I have,
It’s just a clue I seek,
They mistook my swollen and bleeding back,
For their sword’s sheath

Wavering and losing balance,
I feel the narrow ledge,
I remember the times of my life,
Moments filled with regrets,

Uneventful though it was,
I’m glad that part’s done,
The one that could not be,
And the ones you wanted none


The nights when I used to sleep,
And ones that were blurred,
Between them and the day ahead,
Was the nightmare I preferred

I guess the fear’s dead,
Soon with it I’ll meet, Couldn’t live
Without when I was awake,
Can’t abandon when I’m asleep

Here I am waiting,
it’ll be my turn soon
Apathy’s what I’m feeling,
It came when I needed it to.