At a loss for words

So much inside me
Beneath it stirs
But strangely I find me
At a loss for words

Sometimes silent
Like a saint
At times violent
Mighty rage
Comes out in different forms
And hurts
But I find myself at a loss for words

It has been too long
That I've written a prose
Started so many
Then my heart froze
Witty got pitiful, the city got cold
But I'm still at a loss for words

The feelings are lodged
In a heart chamber, locked
Trying out  all keys
Maybe I'll just knock
The letters approach the door then blur
Once again, at a loss for words

They used to be my lone strength
At will I would make egos bend
But now the eerie silence creeps
In their search I travel within, deep
Maybe someday they will again surge
But for now, I'm at a loss for words

I hope I crack this labyrinth
With some luck, maybe a shady hint
A crazy insight, a secret path
A steady journey and a bloody lint

We will meet soon, where words won't end
Where heart is empty and eyes don't lament
But till such time, a cost to be occurred
For I am, truly, at a loss for words.