What is a label? So common, it
seems pointless to ponder over a small and seemingly insignificant word. It is
how you identify. It is the way you organize the huge stock of files in your
brain. The brain automatically labels something as good, bad, healthy, ugly,
satisfying, repelling or as a must to have. It almost comes naturally to us.
Without labels we can’t really work the way we work today. It helps us not get
into the frenzy of analyzing each and every minute detail and underwrite the
basis of classification. So why the big fuss about labels? Let’s just ponder
for a minute. Is the means with which you label, accurate? Is it really how you
have to organize? Are you sure of the category that you put “A” in?
Labeling creates a rule in our
mind. A thumb rule, if you will. A rule that says John cannot draw. So what do
you think John feels when he gets to know of this label? It steals from him the
idea of even considering that he can ever draw. It is imposed as a rule on him.
Now if John is a 25-ish who is a well read, mature person he’d know better than
to believe the label he’s been stamped upon. If John is an 8 year old kid who
just likes to go nuts with his crayons he might not care and go on scribbling
like there’s no tomorrow. But what if the only way John can understand of his
capabilities or potential capabilities is by the way people close to him
respond? It brings a tremendous block in his brain that says “Road blocked in
case you are thinking of drawing, and PS: you are terrible at it” Now here’s a
problem. Also, isn’t other people’s feedback a very essential form of
recognition and evaluation for us. John may have the potential but the people
judging him may lack the skill to understand John’s abilities. John may be not
great at drawing but it might give him the freedom of expression, the breathing
space that he needs. The solitary time where he needs to think, needs to get
his creative side juiced up.
So, it’s easy for Mrs. Thomson to
say “oh, well, John is no good in drawing, he just keeps scribbling his
crayons, let’s try to get him to dance, maybe he’ll get that”. So what do you
think Mrs. Thomson’s words mean? It’s probably true for all adults who have to
either raise or manage or work with kids. They might not say it out loud but
these thoughts do at some level affect the decision making process. And this is
true not only for kids. Any organization you go and ask any employee to give an
informal intro about another, you’ll get a different story from everybody. In
the end it’ll be like nobody knows anybody here and that just might be true. We
tend to be more discerning, less caring and on our guards, when it comes to
work place. Our opinion about somebody is more often than not based upon
situations where the other person might have either kept his cool (due to
altogether different reason) or lost his temper (due to reason not at all relevant
in the context) and based on that you judge him/her.
It’s hard but not impossible
really, to think about all the things that the other person might have done in
the past and then judge him. He might have helped you out numerous times, at
times, without even letting you know but you might still be basing your
judgment on the argument you had last night about a particular plan or
presentation that you failed to execute. So what happens next? This person once
so helpful & co-operative suddenly gives you the cold shoulder.
If John is labeled as bad at, say, Math, whether it may or
may not be the truth, it might become the truth. John, labeled bad at Math will
start believing in it and he might end up doing worse than what he could have
possibly done. So isn’t label a form of appreciation or the other way round,
really?
That means just by appreciating someone you have the power
to help him perform better. Isn’t it probably the simplest way to enhance
performance? Just imagine what great power each of us has. Great leaders
possibly understand this. The same is true for criticism and complain t too. To
quote the secret “Thos who speak of abundance -
have it. Those who complain a lot about the bad things in their lives –
have it.”
With such
great power in such a simple thing as appreciation, I really wonder what else
is in store. Inquisitiveness is the key.
